I Don't Belong Here?

Do you ever sit down and just think about life; a real life, those amazing places to see around this world and awesome people to meet. Do you ever think about your life? That boring life. Go to school, get a holiday, go to school, do homework and other stuffs. I mean, I don't hate school or something but I just think why are people out there are really free, can travel everywhere they want without thinking about stress or money? Let's start. What do most teenagers think nowadays? It must be something about love, school, have fun, party, relationship, gadget, idol, concert, shopping, mall, new brand, and another shit. Sometimes I wonder, am I the only person who wants to be free? wanna go everywhere I want, go skydiving, do cliffjump, wake up in the beach, sleep under the stars, camping in a forest, go to all countries and swim the ocean. I'm just tired of this life. I really love my life now but I'm really sure I can get it better than I get now. But, how come? Even my mom didn't allow me to go to my favorite high school just because it's far and the traffic jam. Like, how can they allow me to go far away? They think I may lost later, but I want it. I want to get lost with people I love in an amazing place where no stress, no depression, just let the sun go through your body and enjoy the clear view of the world. Can I? People always ask about my dream job, but I always say 'I don't know.' Because you know what, I never think about my dream job, I don't know about the things I'm good at, but I always think I wanna be a traveler. If travel is a job, I would gladly choose it. But for some reasons in this fucking reality I just can't make it happen.

Paradise?

Moments, time, friends, smile, love, and paradise. I need it. Take me back to paradise, please? is it too much to ask for? that blue water, warm breeze, white sand, sun kissed skin, i miss that. i wanna go to a place where people don't know me, don't know my name. That empty place so I can scream loud. Where?

Untitled

" i miss the old days. those moments. our smile, our laugh. that day when the sun was shining bright and the flowers were blooming; when the sunset was red and the sky was blue. "

" and when the rain was falling, it couldn't stop our happiness. we ran in the rain, fell and never stopped. then we smiled when we see beautiful colours on the sky, shining in our eyes; the rainbow. "

" tears, happiness, smile, laugh; that was a precious moment. if only i had a time machine, i would rewind it and never ever play it again. "

Dear friends, i miss you. 
do you miss me too?

A Sea of Emotions

do you ever feel like shit? when you failed at many things. like, when you tried so fuckin hard but nobody cares, nobody appreciates it. when you tried to be nice to everyone so they will love you back, but actually it's all fake. when someone you love doesn't care at all but he already knows that you love him. it hurts, okay?
at least he can smile or do somethin, but he doesn't appreciate ALL efforts I did. hey boy, you know? i've been trying so hard, really hard, to make you notice me here. to make you know that I exist. it takes a long time. i would just smile at you and then you would fall in with me and we could go on a date then we lived happily ever after; yeah i wish i could do it but i CAN'T. it's not that easy. i'm just tired. please just take a look at me now and realize it. i can't do this anymore. should i just walk away or should i just keep chasing pavements? if you could only know, this is the first time i really fall with someone. the last time was really bad. honestly, i never be with someone i really like. please, i just want to be with you. is it too much to ask for?
and then when you don't know who are your real friends. i love all of my friends, but i wish i could read their minds. i want to know how much they love me, how much they care with me, how much?... i want a real friend. and i hope friends i'm with now are my true friends.
when you failed at so many exams and homeworks and you just can't handle this anymore. teachers may think i'm stupid or i didn't try hard, but they're wrong. i tried so fucking really hard to do it. but please, just understand me, my time is not only for study. sometimes i need a break. a long break. an escape to somewhere, where i can be alone. at least, they always say i should study more and study with my smart friends. haha yeah smart friends they said. all they see is just those diligent and clever students. hey teachers, sometimes i failed bcs i helped my friends at exam. i can't stand alone seeing them like that.
when you see some skinny and beautiful girls and then you just stand like a shit and look at yourself in a mirror and you feel like a beast. i hate that feeling. boys love pretty girls. i'm not pretty. so boys don't love me, right? lol.

sorry for my bad grammar and some typo. i just don't really care about it and i don't really hope ppl will read this post cos i wrote this just bcs i wanted to, not for my readers. sorry and thanks.

Adam Sevani Portrait

aye! so my friend just requested a drawing of Adam Sevani's face. He acted as Moose in Step Up 2, 3 & 4. Yeah, he's quite cute and I like him a little bit since Step Up 3. tell me ur opinion, please:) x

Day #1: Singaraja, Bali.

so I just got back from Bali last July with my sista and cousin and I'm gonna tell you a lil bit:)

Day 1: arrived in Singaraja, Bali. I arrived in the afternoon so yeah we stayed in our uncle's house, it was very near from the beach! I walked like 2 minute and we could see the blue water. the view was amazing. I missed it so much like seriously:((